Vulnerability...

So, I was in class the other day and herd a talk on Vulnerability. It was so weird and it had nothing to do with religion but sociology. And as I was watching, I couldn't help but relate it to us as Christians. We always hear about guarding our heart and rarely do we EVER hear about being vulnerable. I watched on.. And as i did, she talked about how we have a tenancy to numb feelings. And i was like.. thats me!  And as I think through my relationships with friends, family, and others, I thought about what vulnerability was in those relationships, not much. Then I thought about what it is... fear, trust, shame, insecurities. We are fearful of letting people see the real face, the real us. Im sorry for saying we, I should really only speak for myself but think this relates to all so ill use I. I am fearful. I do not trust. I have insecurities and shame. I am afraid to let any show in fear of many things, not being accepted, not being cared about, thought less of.. and the list can go on. The lady went on to say when we stay in our bubble, when i numb things.. I numb everything. When I don't take the risk of being vulnerable, I don't in then receive the joy of happiness, gratitude, caring, trust...ect. I stay in my safe cage. Stuck where I control things. I put certainty to the uncertainty.  Instead of letting my heart lead, I let my mind take control and put a seal on it. This leads me unwilling to receive from the Lord, and from anyone. When im not vulnerable with the Lord or with people, I don't give room for faith or reliance. I don't give people the opp. to use their spiritual gifts, I don't allow the Lord, the lover of all, to lead me, take me through uncertainty.
As I let my mind soak on this and flow through these ideas, it brought me to the parable of the adulterous lady  about to get stoned. (John 8:1-11) I was overwhelmed. I put my imagination there. I was there watching the lady and ready to stone her along with all the others. And there she was, alone exposed for all to see. She was forced to be vulnerable. Then, was Jesus. The leaders asked Him of what they should do and Jesus bent down and started writing in the sand. The attention was taken off of her on on Him and what He was writing. He stood up and said " If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her "(v. 7 NIV).  Then one by one people started walking away. Jesus went up to her and asked her where all the people went, has no one condemned you? and she said No, sir. And with His loving and gracious words said "Then neither do I condemn you, go and leave your life of sin." 
How much was she blessed to have her life after she was vulnerable.. Jesus blessed her. I don't know if this is a wrong way to look at it, but hey, I did and I am. I am moved by His love and graciousness and how she was vulnerable and He saved the day.
So, im not finished thinking about what vulnerability means or what it is, but I do know it affects my life and others around me. I have an opp. for courage and trust and faith to build... and however that looks, I want more, so i'm opening my heart and running hands open, wanting more of what He is.

May this bless yall..
Peace and hope abide..